ARE YOU SAFE? (Post 134)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1

Post 134

Are You Safe: SPIRITUALLY? Part 3 of Series: Are You Safe?

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

- German Proverb

What does spirituality mean to you? How would you describe a spiritual life? Share with me some characteristics of being spiritual. That day about 15 years ago, we were to spend the entire morning and afternoon learning about the connection between spirituality and recovery. As clergy, I was particularly interested in how a very seasoned clinical therapist would approach a spiritual world topic. The class was part of a 60 hour Problem Gambling Series in preparation for certification in gambling counseling. Our instructor’s above questions spearheaded discussion and soon the blackboard was being filled with what we deemed to be “spiritual” attributes.

Repeatedly, the word character was brought up. A person’s character belied kindness, humility (being humble), giving, forgiving, truthful, grateful, faithful, and holy, for starters. Then, of course, there were the nots: not greedy, selfish, mean-spirited, lying, navel-gazing, etc. Moreover, another perspective we were challenged to think about and discuss centered around the following question: how might religion or being religious connect with these characteristics – and contribute to recovery?

In other words, how does one go from not lying and self-centeredness to developing a spirit of being kind, generous, forgiving, grateful and faithful? In review of How to Quit Drinking without AA, Jerry Dorsman writes, “… when you start drinking heavily, you stop growing spiritually. When you quit alcohol, spiritual growth begins again.” (How to Quit Drinking Without AA Revised 2nd Edition, Jerry Dorsman, Three Rivers Press, 1997) At this point, I do want to be clear: I do endorse and respect the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program. The 12 Steps to Recovery, of which AA members follow are gold-standard principles; and I believe it is, indeed, a spiritual program. Then too, Dorsman’s above statement clarifies the respective roles both addiction and recovery have in impacting the individual’s spirituality.

From the beginning, denial is challenged with

Step 1’s acknowledgment that life has become unmanageable. Steps 2 and 3 open up the addiction problem to a higher power … thus allowing the person to look beyond his/her own limited ability to make a deep change.

Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding. ( www.gamblersanonymous.org )

To be sure, many recovering folks will say, first, their higher power was the kindness, the respect, and the giving nature of the persons attending the GA Meeting … in other words the spirit in the room. The atmosphere of recovery, driven by the spirit of acceptance, self-lessness, helpfulness, and honesty, was being lived by and obvious. The new members could see and feel the difference recovery would make! Later, many individuals will connect these attributes to a personal faith in a higher being.

Steps 7 and 11 continue the development in a personal faith as recovery grows and strengthens.

Step 7 Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.

Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

SPIRITUAL SUGGESTIONS WHEN THOSE URGES TO GAMBLE COME

Again, I go to the words of wisdom offered by Gamblers Anonymous in their terrific pamphlet entitled Suggestions for Coping with Urges to Gamble (www.gamblersanonymous.org). The following are particularly spiritually-based thoughts and guiding words.

· Say and repeat the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the suggestions that I offer to persons seeking help in addiction is to take this prayer and make mini-prayers out of separate phrases and single words. For example, focus on words as accept, courage, or know the difference; pray how each can play a vital role in attaining recovery.

· In working Steps 2 and 3 (see above), envision yourself handing over the gambling urge to one’s Higher Power.

· Meditate – in a quiet spot – and see the urge as something specific and concrete; then watch it dissipate into little pieces. Your urge to gamble will disintegrate with it. (Gamblers Anonymous)

Finally, the GRM Blog contains several Posts specifically oriented toward spiritual growth within addiction recovery. For quick and easy reference, I have listed them below.

· Post 15 April 20, 2011 Powerlessness

· Post 28 June 1, 2012 Connecting Passion and Pain: Where is the Church?

· Post 59 June 24, 2014 Spiritual Recovery

· Post 63 October 26, 2014 Fear: Is It Stealing Your Fate?

· Post 76 November 20, 2015 “P-R-A-Y”

· Post 107 July 31, 2018 Are We Forgiven?

· Post 119 July 6, 2019 Freedom with the Serenity Prayer

In closing, two last messages to contemplate conclude our series, Are You Safe?