KEEPING UP WITH RECOVERY (Post 113)
SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, 2019
Post 113
KEEPING UP WITH RECOVERY
As New Year 2019 rolled in, e-ads blasted the net, reminding me of self-care ways to greet the coming 365 days. There were multiple tips for taking control - and even cautions about resolutions that could become overwhelming. As I scrolled through, a particularly helpful workshop at the 2018 Indiana Fall Symposium on Problem Gambling came to mind. Focusing on recovery, husband and wife, Bob and Sherrie, shared their respective Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon journeys of lessons-learned in combatting and growing through compulsive gambling issues. First-hand experiences are always good learning materials; and so I extended the invitation to share.
Our guest author of January’s Post, Bob H. is a 1975 graduate of the University of Toledo with double Bachelor of Arts degrees in Communications and English Literature and a 1978 graduate of Trinity Lutheran Seminary, receiving a Master of Arts in Religious Studies. He has previously worked as pastoral assistant at First St. John Lutheran Church in Toledo, Ohio, with duties of preaching, visiting, teaching, leading, and facilitating many ministry programs. At First St. John Lutheran Church, he also serves on the Board of Elders and is chairman of the Call Committee. Currently, Bob serves as the archivist/museum center curator of Genacross Lutheran Services in Toledo. Bob has traveled on his recovery journey since November 10, 1999. He has been a member of Gamblers Anonymous for almost nineteen years. Since that time, he has participated in over forty GA Mini-Conferences, conducting various workshops on recovery issues, communications, and growing in spirituality. Recently, he also completed training as an authorized lay leader in counseling compulsive gamblers. Moreover, Bob is credentialed with the International Gambling Counselor Certification Board’s Clergy/Lay Minister Certification.
NOTICE! Bob and Sherrie will be our Keynote Speakers for the Clergy/Lay Minister Certification Workshop on Thursday, January 31 at 10:00 AM - a special Pre-Conference Session of the Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling Annual Educational & Awareness Conference, Clarion Hotel, Lexington KY I75 at Newtown Pike(Conference Information 502-223-1823)
Welcome, Bob, to the GRM Blog!
How to Keep Your Recovery Going and Growing by Bob H.
Hi. My name is Bob H. and I am a compulsive gambler. I placed my last bet on May 2, 2014. I would like to share with you my recovery story, and how I keep from making that next bet. I first found the rooms of recovery with the help of my wife, and my therapist on November 10, 1999. Prior to that date, my life was in shambles, and spiraling out of control due to an obsession to gambling.
I was living the American dream. At least, I thought so. My wife and I had wonderful jobs, and we lived in a three-bedroom ranch style home off the 14th hole, in the country with two beautiful daughters, three cats, a dog, and longed for peace and quiet. But instead of feeling grateful for my many blessings; and instead of feeling contented, I wanted more. I wanted to pay off the house; fund our children’s college educations in advance; buy new cars every year; and take vacations to Disney World every March. So to speed up the process, I started to gamble.
I entered the world of gambling through the commodities markets. Of course, I had a commodities broker who would steer me in the right direction and increase my bankroll exponentially, much like Hillary Clinton who turned a $1,000 portfolio into a six-figure profit. There was one small problem. My broker, or “bookie”, was getting a 40% sales commission on each trade. So I had to make at least 40% on the trade just to break even. Sugar was the big mover in the mid-1990s. Unfortunately for me, it was moving in the wrong direction. My commodities investment career was short-lived; and soon my commodities account was closed due to lack of funds. Lesson learned? Not quite.
Commodity investing was not for me. I thought different gambling venues might work out better. So I tried penny stocks, mutual funds, municipal bonds, tax-sheltered annuities. In desperation, I tried illegal pyramid and Ponzi schemes. All the while, I kept losing; and I kept feeling depressed about life. So I started seeing a psychologist. On-line sports betting was in its infancy. So I tried that. But my bankroll kept getting smaller. My depression worsened. Refinancing our dream home in the country bought me some more time but the gambling continued.
Finally, I confessed to my wife and my therapist that I needed help to stop this freefall of irresponsible and uncontrolled gambling. I called the local Gamblers Anonymous Hotline and talked to the GA operator; and on November 10, 1999, I walked through the doors of twelve-step recovery.
My first meeting was in a church. I was scared, depressed, and lonely. I answered the 20 Questions – No to thirteen of them; and I lied about five more. It was there I found people who had the same addiction as me, the same financial issues as me, and the same hopefulness that I was yearning to feel. That night I learned that I was powerless over gambling and that my life was unmanageable.
From that date on, except for a relapse on May 27, 2014, I have been gambling-free and living life in recovery. So you may ask what keeps me abstinent and in recovery for over four years. I cannot begin to share what others have done to quit gambling. But I can share with you things that I have done to stay stopped or abstinent.
Seven Ways to Keep Going and Growing
1. Find 12 Step GA Meetings in your area and attend a minimum of two meetings a week. If you have to travel to find a meeting, so be it. You travelled to gamble, didn’t you?
2. Become part of the fellowship of GA. Attend pinnings, mini-conferences, and periodically go out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner with fellow GA members.
3. Get a sponsor. It helps to have someone in the GA program that can support you on a one-on-one basis, and guide you through the 12 steps of recovery.
4. Keep in contact with other GA members throughout the week either through phone or e-mail. Talking with fellow GA members gives you a feeling of belonging and compassion.
5. Get in touch with a Higher Power. It doesn’t have to be God. Your Higher Power can be a GA room, another GA member, a minister, or a friend. Belief in a High Power is essential in bringing your recovery to an inner spiritual level.
6. Pass it on. When new members come to a meeting, welcome them, and feel their pain. You were there once, remember?
7. Live life one day at a time. Don’t try to solve all your problems in one fell swoop. And above all, be patient. Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint! And enjoying your recovery journey is the key to happiness, success, and serenity.
Thank you, Bob, for sharing both your challenges and joys in recovery!
May each of the 300-plus days to come find you uniquely experiencing this new year, one-day-at-a-time!
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
https://www.grmumc.org/
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit:
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
www.mdproblemgambling.com
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.gam-anon.org
www.kycpg.org
www.pgnohio.org
www.calproblemgambling.org
www.christsd.com
www.masscompulsivegambling.org
www.mentalhealthministries.net
Posted by Gambling Recovery Ministries at 5:07 PM