Twelve Steps and Inspirations from the Legend of St. Valentine (Post 103)

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2018

Post 103

COURAGE:
Twelve Steps and Inspirations from the Legend of St. Valentine 

Within this past January GRM Blog, I referred to the making of New Year’s resolutions or new goals for 2018 by noting that often by mid-February, those aspirations are cast aside or simply ignored.  Well, it’s past that point now – and at the end of the month. If resolutions or goals were made … how are you doing?   Have they been cast aside, ignored, perhaps only contemplated, or has a new resolve actually become an acquired aspect of your lifestyle?  Taking a look at the latter possibility, how did change occur?  Bit by bit?  Cold-turkey?  Timidly?  Bravely with courage? 

John Kasich fills his book, Courage Is Contagious (Doubleday, New York, New York, 1998), with examples of persons facing life challenges and struggles that most of us may never experience.  Indeed, courage  is a door-opener … to new – and most probably unexpected – feelings, experiences, life changes, affirmations, deeper faith, and even more courage!

Earlier this month, I attended a GA/Gam-Anon Mini Conference.  The discussions and testimonies spoke truly of courage.  In fact, the prospect of change can be like stepping off a cliff into an unknown void: downright scary!  However, there is discernible security in the 12 Steps to Recovery while working with a seasoned (in recovery) sponsor and group support. 

Since it’s still February - and with a nod to St. Valentine (a courageous man) - let’s take a look at courageous questions that face courageous individuals seeking courageous recovery through each of the 12 Steps.  Asking these questions clarifies the key issue of each Step in the process of recovery. 

Questioning oneself turns the Step inward, thus personalizing the challenge (and subsequent invitation to change) by way of each Step attained. 

Notice, also, that there are blanks – spaces to fill in your addiction and/or troubling behavior.  This is not just about problem/compulsive gambling!

STEP 1:  We admitted we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become unmanageable. QUESTION:  Have I lost control of _____?  Does my lifestyle center around ____  regardless of adverse consequences (or quite possible adverse consequences) to me, my family, my friends, my work?STEP 2:  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.                                                                                                              QUESTION:  What aspects of my current thinking and living are not normal due to  _______ ?  Without _______ how would normal thinking and living look like?

STEP 3:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.                                                                                                                                  QUESTION:  What will this care look like?  Is “care” the same as “control”?  Will I be able to make choices?STEP 4:  Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.      QUESTION:  I am afraid to look at my moral self and my finances and to see the impact that _______ has had upon my whole self.  However, might I not feel relief instead to face the truth – both the positive and the negative aspects of my life?

STEP 5:  Admitted to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. QUESTION:  Will I feel relieved to share my “wrongs” with another person?  Or will I regret telling such things?  Regardless of these possible consequences, it will take courage – and I’ll learn more about myself and my abilities to be truthful and honest.STEP 6:  Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed.                       QUESTION:  Again, will sharing my defects of character with another person help me to feel unburdened (at least somewhat) and provide courage for me to be ready to remove the wrongs that have been holding me back from full recovery? 

STEP 7:  Humbly ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.              QUESTION:  This question is twofold:  am I really, entirely ready enough to have my shortcomings removed by my higher Power; are the shortcomings to which I admit the same as those identified by God?STEP 8:  Make a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.  QUESTION:  What if the person has died or moved away (and their location is unknown) … how will I make amends?  Will the courage to share my wrongs to another person (Step 5) sufficiently strengthen me to be ready to make amends?

STEP 9:  Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.                                                                                                                     QUESTION:  What if the person does not accept my amend-making?  Will my efforts help me to close-the-door on my guilt and shame? STEP 10:  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.  QUESTION:  May I be able to keep a courageous eye on denial by keeping my personal inventory current and honest?  

STEP 11:  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.  QUESTION:  When I hesitate in fear to continue my recovery work, do I boldly pray for the courage to keep on keeping-on?STEP 12:  Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers.                                                                              QUESTION:  Sometimes, it’s difficult to talk personally to another _________ for fear of rejection or derisive replies.  Will I count on the courage I’ve already gained (by working the Steps) to share my experiences and message of recovery?  

In closing, I recommend another book, as well …Why Courage Matters ..The Way to a Braver Life by John McCain with Mark Salter (Random House, Inc., New York, 2004).  Throughout this book, I am reminded of the many, new ministry projects and programs the congregations I pastored endeavored.  “But we’ve never done that before” did not stop them!  Instead, we would ask each other following yet another new outreach, “what if we hadn’t done this?”  So how is COURAGE connected to St. Valentine of Rome?  It is noted in early church history, that Valentinus stood his ground against the Roman Emperor Claudius II.  During the third century A.D., persecution, of Christians who refused to worship Roman gods and/or the Emperor, increased.  Valentinus was no exception; and he was sentenced to death.  Awaiting his fate, according to legend, he was given the opportunity to tutor his jailor’s blind daughter.  Unafraid, Valentinus taught her, among many topics, how to pray; and when she prayed, legend has it, she received her sight!

By the way …

recovery has much to do with courage and new vision …                           doesn’t it!   

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
www.grmumc.org

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit: 
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
www.mdproblemgambling.com
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.gam-anon.org
www.kycpg.org
www.pgnohio.org
www.calproblemgambling.org
www.christsd.com
www.masscompulsivegambling.org
 

Posted by Gambling Recovery Ministries at 1:04 PM