THINKING ABOUT QUITTING GOT YOU SPOOKED? (Post 171)

October 10, 2024

According to retailers, it seems like October has been here for two months. Halloween cards, costumes, and jack-o-lanterns have greeted us in store aisles; and creepy movie previews invite us to get scared out of our wits. Certainly, the spookiness of Halloween can be great fun but for persons in addiction there can be other fear-prompters. In particular, October and November Posts will address, first, those fearful hesitations to consider quitting and recovery – and second, how to fill the time, once quit, and enjoy life.

True story: A person in recovery for seventeen years relapsed. First, the return was considered just temporary. I’ve quit before; I can quit anytime. Years have now passed and no recovery. Concerns, fears, and self-abasing remarks are often expressed about personal health. Another, deeper fear is spoken: the process of quitting is so physically painful plus the failed quits become even more personally disappointing and disparaging.

How defeating the fear of failure can take hold! Then too, bolstering that worry about failing to succeed are the what-ifs. The following are points to consider in facing the What-If Monster. (1) Interestingly, many of the supposed what-if calamities do not materialize – or at least, not to grand-scale dimensions! (2) Think ahead positively with alternative plans.. When a what-if actually might occur, review the thought-through choices rather than feel stranded. (3) Having already an alternative mindset with possible options encourages one to continue going beyond the situation at hand. Think: it's not a dead-in. Rather it can be a U-turn with new pathways to success. (4) Consider sharing with a trusted friend or professional the fears associated with attempting to quit. Just speaking about the fears – and getting these thoughts out in the open – can render them more surmountable. Fear kept secret is open – and vulnerable - to further secret fears, in addition to feelings of failure and helplessness without hope.

What then might an individual with problems, involved in his/her gambling, fear about any attempts (s)he would consider to attain recovery? The below statements do not compose a complete list by any means. Still, thinking through such situations could help to identify one’s own personal bases for hesitating to seek help. Again, getting these thoughts out in the open - at least, initially to oneself – can render them more surmountable. Keeping this in mind as you read through the following, know that there is help and that you don’t have to tackle your fears alone.

*** I might lose my job, marriage, friends, and/or reputation if my gambling problem is expressed

*** How can I pay my bills/debts if I’m not able to gamble and win or win back my losses

*** How would I be able to deal with worry, trouble, loneliness, grief, or emotional pain without the highs of gambling

*** What kind of celebrating could there be without gambling

*** Could making amends to persons just open a can of worms and make me feel worse

The above truly are common situations wherein individuals DO feel and wonder about the impact of their gambling problems. There are more, of course; and each circumstance is personal. Naturally, hesitation, concern, and fear in approaching recovery can occur. However, there are healthy options to seek and succeed.

November’s GRM BLOG Post will tackle the Is there life after gambling? question. Indeed there is! A very special Guest Author will bring us an encouraging and practical message on FILLING life in recovery.

In the meantime, re-reading a couple of past GRM BLOG Posts about recovery are strengthening words and reminders for all of us. Find them here on the GRM Blog:

POSTS

October 2014 #63, September 2014 #62, February 2014 #55, June 2012 #29

September 2018 #109, December 2016 #89, January 2017 #90,

March 2024 #164, September 2024 #170

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministries

https://www.grmumc.org

855-926-0761

For more information on the IGCCB Clergy/Lay Minister Certification visit:

www.igccb.org